ahhsparklymagic

its-lezbehonest:

achievingmore:

hotty-toddys-hotty:

How to get over a break up

How to get through the day

My fridge errday

I spent like 10 years of my life pretending to fly around on a broomstick and you’re asking me if preparing for a love scene was ‘tricky’ because the other person also had a penis?

Daniel Radcliffe (via hankgreensmoustache)
griffsc:

Captain America needs that solid dick in his life 

  • grandma: you're 17? you're getting old aren't ya!
  • me: grandma you're like 80

vorfreudde:

Relationships suck, you either get married or breakup 

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND

FLOOR IT?

NICK NO

HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND

NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN

I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES

NICK P L E A S E

eldiablocabra:

awkwardvagina:

alvxandra:

oh look it’s the leader of the free world breaking the cardinal rule of chipotleimage

image

"Retract your arm immediately, Mr. President" 

doodlecri:

I’m prouder of this than I should be